Claudia Connell on Mail Online gives a painfully honest account of how she came to be living alone in middle-age: Now in her 40′s, Claudia talks of how her single life, which was once embraced and celebrated for its exciting perks, has lost its gloss.
Claudia states: “I was part of the Sex And the City generation — successful, feisty women who made their own money, answered to no one and lived life to the full. When it came to men, my attitude to them was the same as it was towards the latest must-have handbag: only the best would do, no compromises should be made, and even then it would be quickly tired of and cast aside. However at the age of 46, I’ve unwillingly accepted that my opportunity to have a family has gone and the chances of meeting a decent man aren’t looking too rosy either. What none of us spent too long thinking about in our 20′s and 30s was how our lifestyles would impact on us once we reached middle-age, when we didn’t want to go out and get sozzled on cocktails and had replaced our stilettos and skinny jeans with flat shoes and elasticated waists.
Freedom is great when you can exploit it; but when you have so much that you don’t know what to do with it, then it all becomes a little pointless.” Claudia wrote in Mail online.
Today in the UK, there are record numbers of middle-aged single people. There are many other woman and men just like Claudia that can relate to the emotions and realties of this lifestyle. Not so many will be as bold as to admit but Figures speak loud in this circumstance.
Statistics released by the Office of National Statistics showed that 7.6 million people are currently living alone in the UK. And the fastest growing group in this is a 2.5 million percentage that fall between the ages of 45 and 64 who live alone with no spouse, partner or children. The figure represents a mind blowing 50 per cent increase since the mid-Nineties. Perhaps materially well off in this generation but seemingly emotionally bereft.
It’s a somewhat upsetting report but a correct one none the less and while some woman and men are quite comfortable with their circumstance of living alone, the truth is most will admit that they had wished they had someone to share it with, a partner, child or other family.
This article is in no way intended to be a spiral of depression and reminder of your singleness – if you are. However sometimes a reminder of these situations can be a healthy way into knowing what you want and chasing after that, not missing the importance of opportunities when they come to your door. Whether that is a new relationship – Or a chance of amending one with a family member or the opportunity to take action in your situation of feeling broken and to fight for healing from your past. So you can become a full representation of yourself again, not regretting your life away and wishing you had realised things sooner.
The wonderful thing that we should never take for granted is that we do live in world and country of endless opportunities, and if we know what we want and take action in getting it, we can fight for our aspirations and dreams to live the way in which we desire. Unfortunately life does throw its whirlwinds and it can knock us clean off our feet from a place in which we were quite comfortable, but if we stay there in that brokenness or state of unawareness or denial of what was really going on, we will end up looking back wishing and regretting, and on search for who can invent us that time machine!
Life is always going to be a whirlwind you just have to learn how to pick yourself up once you’ve been knocked down. Like everyone, we all think and worry about the future and wonder where we will be in 10-20 years of our life. Some of us seriously wonder how we can possible get to a place we see desirable by then.
But the truth is there are ways and people to help you get there, opportunities that do come around, they might come in disguise but they come, so look for them and take a hold of them!
If you feel yourself feeling morose or depressed at the prospect of being single or you are clear you have not healed from your divorce or bad break up – stop suffering in silence and talk to us. We have a whole team of angels who are ready to chat to you. Email us on ANGEL SUPPORT or call us on:
- UK: +44 (0)208 638 0841
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- RSA: +27 (0)11 083 8901
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Till next time!
Lots of hugs
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