When two people get married, there is a beautiful ceremony and celebration with all your friends, family and community involved. Everyone is willing you on to succeed. Sadly, when two people get divorced, it’s akin to seeing tumbleweed rolling across an empty road whilst crickets sing gently in the background. There is literally nothing out there which enables us as women to have a ceremonial breaking of the sacred vow we made. For some of you, who are very spiritual or religious, you may really be battling but nothing with the concept of divorce, so this process will support you in achieving a level of completion.
This exercise will help you sever the ties with your ex in a healthy and supportive way.
- Start off by journaling the following about your ex (do this as if you were talking to him):
- What can I acknowledge you for in our relationship?
- What was awesome about our relationship?
- What hurt me and what did I need to hear from you back then?
- What parts of you did I not see, acknowledge or accept whilst we were married?
- What are all the things I learnt from our marriage?
- What are all the things I learnt from our divorce?
- What do I need to hear from you now? (do this AFTER your letter from him to you)
- What I wish for you now
- What promises and commitments do I make to you for the future (if applicable)
- What promises and commitments do I make with regards to our children and your relationship with them (if applicable)
- Review your marriage vows and look at the promises you made. Acknowledge which promises you did and did not keep
- Forgive yourself for any promises you broke and acknowledge yourself for all the promises you kept
Write a completion letter to your ex saying everything you want to say from the Vow Break above.
When complete, pack up all of your ex’s things and put them into a box to be stored in the attic or away from your daily living. Take off your wedding ring (if you haven’t done so already)
Well Done! Chat soon