New Year, New You: Create a Healing Goal To Move On!

Every New Year is an opportunity to become clean, fresh, new and shiny bright. It’s a chance to wipe the slate clean and make some decisions about your life. It’s all about believing it’s possible and then going out there and making it happen. First step is to have a HEALING GOAL.

This is a vivid movie in your mind that you can day-dream about and work on every single day. It has colors, sounds, feelings and a beginning, middle and ending. It’s a little vision of yourself healed, better, living a wonderful life.

So, here it is – my gift to you to use and enjoy:

HEALING GOAL EXERCISE

1. Choose a very specific HEALING GOAL that you will work with on a daily basis. Make sure that this goal is something that is really important and meaningful to you. It should make you feel good imagining yourself having achieved that goal.

2. Create a picture in your mind’s eye that would indicate to you that your goal has already been accomplished. For example, if your goal is to heal from your past relationship and be even better off than you were before, your inspiring outcome might be that you are walking down the street, your head held high, looking gorgeous and feeling empowered, amazing, light and free. Your ex walks past you and calls your name. You wave and feel grateful and inspired. There is no worry or angst remaining as you go over to say hello. Your inspiring outcome is the end result. (You don’t have to have your ex in your goal, this is just an example).

3. To find your inspiring outcome, ask yourself the following three questions:

a. “How would I know that my goal had been accomplished?”

b. “Where would I be and what would I be doing when my goal has been accomplished?”

c. “What will I see, hear, and feel when my goal has been accomplished that will indicate to me that my goal is realized?”

4. Write out your HEALING GOAL describing in exact detail what you will see, hear, feel (emotionally and physically), taste and smell when your goal is complete.

Express your goal in all five senses:

• V – Visual (sight)

• A – Auditory (sound)

• K – Kinesthetic (feeling, both touch and emotion)

• G – Gustatory (taste)

• O – Olfactory (smell)

As your mind experiences reality, it filters reality through your five senses i.e. it receives input from what you are seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting and smelling.

Research shows that when you use your imagination like this, you can create an imagined experience so real that your mind cannot tell the difference between your imagined experience and reality. When this happens and your mind believes that your imagined experience is actually real, chemical reactions take place in your brain, effectively storing your imagined experience into your memory banks as if it were a real memory.

As you repeat this process of imagining over time, you can program new false memories into your mind. Your mind can then use these false memories as the basis for creating your reality.The end result of all this is that you can begin to think, feel and behave in new, more productive ways that will lead you closer to your goals. New ways of thinking, feeling and behaving have you attract new opportunities and resources into your life to help bring your dreams and goals into reality.

Note: You can hear each suggestion and can RELAX in the knowledge that YOU are making POSITIVE changes to your subconscious mind.

Example HEALING GOAL

Imagine that your inspired outcome for realizing your perfect HEALING GOAL is to see yourself dancing and looking incredible and being adored by all the men around you. You feel amazing! Here is an example of what you might write down describing your HEALING GOAL.

Visual: (sight)

Flashing lights, bodies moving to the music, smiling people, arms up in the air, catch reflection of myself in the mirror looking amazing, gorgeous guys smiling at me and making motions towards me, champagne in tall glass…

Auditory: (hearing)

Hearing the music, glasses clanking together, murmuring of voices, laughing, guy asking me to dance etc…

Kinaesthetic: (touch)

Cold champagne in hand, feel warmth of a body next to mine, the touch of the fabric against my skin etc…

Kinaesthetic: (emotions)

Happy, contented, empowered, at peace, warm heart, excited, peaceful, grateful, appreciative, joy, mind quiet etc…

Gustatory: (taste)

Salty as I lick my lips, champagne etc…

Olfactory: (smell)

Champagne, after-shave etc…

Note: Before you program your mind, it is important to get specific about what you want to program your mind with. Fill in your HEALING GOAL using single words or short phrases. An example of what a completed HEALING GOAL looks like can be found below.

VAKGO sensory elements

To help you extract the VAKGO information from your HEALING GOAL, I have included a list of some sensory elements that make up each of your five senses.If you find yourself having difficulty creating some of the sensory information in your HEALING GOAL, go through the list below for the particular sense that you are working on, and see if it jogs your imagination.

Visual elements:

Objects

People

Shape

Size – big / small

Color

Brightness

Contrast – light / shade

Texture

Auditory elements:

Volume – loud / soft

Distance – near / far

Quality – clear / distorted

Background sounds

Kinaesthetic (touch) elements:

Temperature – hot / cold

Wind / water / rain against skin?

Texture and pressure

Clothing – how your clothes feel against your skin.

Are you holding anything in your hands? / Are you touching anything?

Are you sitting or lying down – if so, what does that feel like?

Movement and posture

Kinaesthetic (emotional) elements:

Emotional quality – e.g. joy, excitement, pride, gratitude etc…

Intensity – strong / weak

Location in your body – e.g. heart area, solar plexus area, head area.

Gustatory elements:

Texture

Intensity of taste

Hot / cold

Sweet / sour / salty

Olfactory elements:

Pungency / intensity of smell

Smells good / bad

Distance – close / far

MY HEALING GOAL

Date: ……………………………………………………………………………………………………

My HEALING GOAL is (no more than a simple paragraph):

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

My inspired outcome is…

(write one or two sentences summarizing your outcome):

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Visual (sight)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Auditory (hearing)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kinaesthetic (touch)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kinaesthetic (emotions)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Gustatory (taste)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Olfactory (smell)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Till next time,

Flying off the handle ladies? We have just the thing for you this Xmas!

Christmas cards sent? Check. All the presents bought? Check. School nativity attended? Check. Congratulations. Now you only have to wrap and deliver all your presents, do the food shopping, finish putting up the decorations and cook a perfect meal for 12 people on Christmas Day. Is it any wonder that occasionally things don’t go to plan and we can end up feeling volcanic with rage?

Why are women getting so angry?

A recent article in the Daily Mail highlighted the concern many women feel about their difficulty in managing their anger. Lisa describes how she threw her son’s schoolbook across the room when running late for school, entrepreneur Charlotte outlines how even small things can trigger a furious outburst, and sculptor Sally explains how she lost multiple jobs because of her angry tirades. There are many suggestions for the rise in the number of women who feel their anger is out of control, including the pressures of working and running a home, dealing with stress at work, life-changing events such as divorce, or long-hidden trauma.

Why do women feel the need to control their anger?

Traditionally, there has been an unwritten expectation that women should overcome their feelings and maintain an unruffled appearance; think of the oft-quoted reference to the swan, who appear serene as it glides along the river, but is paddling furiously underwater. Women have been led to believe that expressing your emotions outwardly is damaging, and that it’s important to protect others from your ‘unreasonable’ behavior. But is this true?

The science of anger

Evidence suggests that continually repressing emotions has a serious impact on our health. Dr Deepak Chopra’s theory of ‘cellular healing’ states that cells store phantom memories which are retained when they regenerate, leading to physical problems. However, people who had survived serious illness could access this cell memory and release the negative emotions, ensuring that new cells remained unaffected. Research by Dr Candace Pert shows that repressing emotions releases chemicals which blocks cell receptors, causing potential long-term damage, whilst expressing emotions keeps receptors open.

How can we release our anger safely?

Hurling the crockery at your partner is unhealthy as well as expensive. What you need is a secure environment to let your anger out without causing distress to those around you. If you have trouble controlling your anger, then Tantrum Club is just what you need. Designed exclusively for women, you can scream your frustration, yell about your anger, and even indulge in a therapeutic session of hitting a beanbag with a baseball bat, all designed to give you a chance to express your anger safely. New clubs are springing up around the country, and there is also a telephone helpline where you can vent your fury without causing a major incident at home or work.

So when the hustle and bustle of Christmas all seems too much, and your mother-in-law has criticized your cooking once too often, why not take yourself off to Tantrum Club and let it all out safely?

Till next time, lots of hugs..

Adele